Saturday, January 12, 2013

Weight For It...

Two years ago I lost 40 pounds. I was so proud of myself. I felt great. 
I had 30 more to go to meet my goal. 

And then I gained it all back. 

There are all kinds of reasons - otherwise known as excuses. 
I've wearied myself trying to place blame.
My fault for not being perfect.
My friends for not physically restraining me at the gelato shop.
The mean kid in junior high who said I was ugly.
That cinnamon roll for being too tasty.
That awful girl on the school bus who made fun of me.
The man who broke my heart.
.......
Blah blah blah.

I'm starting to recognize the triggers. 
I'm starting to relearn what it means to be healthy. 
I'm falling down daily and picking myself up each morning.
Nights are hard for me.
I get lonely and bored and start munching. 

I want my freedom back. I want a new trial. 
I'm tired of this one. It's cramping my style.
(Didn't intend for that to rhyme, but it was a happy accident.)

I worked out for an hour on my new treadmill this morning.
It felt great.

I entered all of my meals in my new calorie-tracker app. 
And I did really well with my food today. 
I'm proud of that.

One day at a time.

My current goal is 82 pounds.
It sounds like a lot. It is.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13

10 comments:

  1. I'm the guilty party with the gelato...and I'm sorry. But I KNOW you can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us all. I wish you'd have been at our women's conference today. I went through 4 hankies--and only made it to 1.5 presentations and the opening and closing sessions...I learned to much from the Spirit today that I needed to hear. Keep on, keeping on. I'll be cheering for you all along your journey. I know you can do it! And I love you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shauna you and I both know that no amount of rope would keep me from that Passion Fruit gelato if I really wanted it. Which leads to my point. I can't blame. I can only keep trying to do my best. You are a lovely and supportive and wonderful friend. I wish I had been at the conference too. Curse the end-of-term. It ruined all kinds of fun plans I had today!

      Delete
  2. AMY YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!! I know it's like the hardest thing in the world, but I know you can do it because you've done it before. :) You are so inspirational and BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING! I'm pretty sure it's time we drop kicked life in the face, don't you? Let's both let this semester change our lives, shall we? I think that's a good idea. <3 LOVE YOU!! (And your rhyme made me laugh out loud. I'm so glad I can still hear your voice through your blog.) Also, I'm going to stuff angry kittens into the pillows of that junior high kid and school bus girl and jerk-wh0-must-not-be-named BECAUSE NO ONE MESSES WITH MY AMAZING AUNT AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Angry kittens in pillows... where do you come up with these things?

      No need to change your life my girl. You are living the dream in J-Ru. :)

      Love you!! Miss you!!

      The end.

      Delete
  3. What calorie tracker are you using? If its myfitnesspal we should be friends! My user name is melissanicholjohn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa I'm using "mynetdiary". I'll take a look at myfitnesspal too!

      Delete
  4. I love you, Amy. I'm always here to cheer you on. And I'm with your niece on the angry-kittens-pillowcase plan. She's a genius.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Kacey. I love you too!!

      Delete
  5. First off, stuffing angry kittens into pillows sounds like the best thing ever.
    Second - You ARE amazing! I'm with you, if we did it before we can do it again!
    AGAIN!
    And now sing....
    We did it before
    AND we can do it again
    and we can do it again...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My niece has pretty genius ideas. And I think you are amazing Missy. You and your minions. :)

      Delete